Archive for July, 2015

Fading Youth

Posted: July 28, 2015 in Uncategorized

There is a certain way to life that drains you of all the energy. The rich and sparkling luster of youth dims and fades, leaving behind dark voids and empty crevices that reek of rot, decay and festering mold which eat you from within. And so you hold on to the shadow of the obdurate past, you let it anchor you down so that when tempest tossed you cling to the familiar comfort of your own delusions. With the unyielding clock mockingly ticking and prancing on into the future, you get swept along in a trance of reminiscence, going through life with a nasty hangover of youth.

Even though you try to aim for the stars, you crush and burn like Icarus—wreck into the vast sea of depression and despair without any lighthouse to cast a beam of hope on your leathery aging face. You wash up on the bank and shoal of middle age with nothing but a sore head laden with a kaleidoscope of childhood innocence and chaste joy. Right there at the edge of the unknown, with the vast sand creeping from you calloused hands—hands that toiled hard with wax and feathers to make the wings that eventually let you down—you realize , for a change , the futility of life.

For once you know (and it hits you hard) about how much loneliness there is around—loneliness that metastases like a malignant cancer deep in the marrow of your heart. With no one to help you heal and repair the broken wings, you become just one old fallen angel—an angel now prone to the helplessness of a mortal soul, someone who can be swept adrift by the vast ocean of pain like canoe in the eye of a deadly hurricane. Salty tears sweep down you cheeks and you curl on the bed of sand. Like Narcissus, you pine away into oblivion but with no flower to mark your final demise. Where are the gods when you need them? Is anybody out there?
© David Phiri