Archive for October, 2015

It’s a common human proclivity to wallow into the deep throes of self-pity; to sit down and bawl about whatever misfortune has befallen them. Suddenly, one ventures into the philosophical kind of thought: “How?”and most tragically “Why?”

There is no such thing as wasted years. You live, you love, you win and you lose: along the way, you touch the lives you were meant to touch. But in the end, life goes on. The pages turn, and your hand is forced to start a new chapter–sometimes on a tattered piece of grubby old parchment.

And so begins the new chapter; written painfully in sweat, tears and tainted blood upon a rotten piece of flesh. For a change you start to feel the fatigue of your fallen flesh, you feel the heavy load of each day taking its toll upon your festered bone, and you feel your frail heart pumping poisonous blood to your swollen extremities. This makes you leave whatever notions of youthful immortality you might have clung to…and you start wondering about eternity and oblivion. 

What lies ahead? What new peaks to climb and pits to avoid? Is there a fiery pit or is just blissful oblivion? There is always a storm, there is always a hurricane. Each one weathers us in its own fashion, relentless and as unforgiving as the gods who punish children for the sins of their fathers. 

It’s a rigged game, everyone knows it. It’s never fair, this life we live. And yet you dare not say it out loud, for he who utters that universal truth will be considered weak and puny

“Stop wining,” “Suck it up like a man,” “Take it on the run,” “You always go down swinging,” “Keep your head up.”…the clichés hit from every angle and we all are forced to put on a show. But who is watching? Is anybody out there? We never really know.

The world is a circus and we are all freaks and apprentices in this carnival of fools (this I attest and you can quote me in front of the judge, jury and a multitude of witnesses..I won’t deny) But where do we find ourselves when the carnival stops? What do we do when the masks lose their charm and we are are forced to look into the eyes of the stranger who lies behind all the lies?

We find ourselves on our knees; eyes closed and tears streaming down our cheeks. At that point in time, it no longer matters if anyone is listening. The world brings us all down to our knees, it tolerates no standing man. “The spirit is willing yet the body is weak.” True desperation is that moment when you start bargaining in your prayers. But who will buy you prayers to the highest bidder? Is anyone listening?

All we do in this life is try to get comfort from any place we can. We cling to the familiar and we all search for a miracle. Born to struggle and born to die, we all have to come to terms with it. 

“We’re all born bearing the weight of time. We all live clamouring to survive, and we all die longing to feel alive.” The rock band Gates sang and I quote. Living is a just a fleeting feeling we get at times, most times we simply exist. I’m not wining, I just deal in facts…..and they usually are very stubborn things….Are you getting your share of life?

@DavidPhiri 2015