Jogging for Sanity(Journal of a Broken Dreamer; Page 01)

Posted: March 4, 2016 in Introspective prose, Writing

The things I believed in were very frail. Very fragile. I didnt know that. I thought they were indestructible. They werent.”

—–The Sunset Limited; Cormac McCarthy.—-

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When your mind starts echoing terrible truths (truths that you desperately want to avoid) you do everything to divert your attention. And so you run, with noisy Rock music pounding in your ears to help drown the noise coming from deep within, to drown your own troublesome thoughts. The pace sets itself, proportional to the burdens you carry. And so you pick it up a notch trying hard to outrun your past, your mistakes; you try hard to outrun your own haunts that are killing you, pulling you apart from deep within and shredding the course fabric of you frail sanity. You simply run to avoid going insane.

At this point, jogging becomes more than just a sport. Jogging becomes the only anchor holding you down in the eye of a terrible storm. When everyone from your past has betrayed you, left you reeling in new pangs of anguish, you do your best to remain sane. When your quiet life spins out of control, you hold on to the smallest of straws even if you know that all this charade is a temporary measure.

But how far can one run from himself? In the end, the ghouls and demons always catch up. It’s an inevitable ending. They catch up on you and tear you to shreds without remorse. Maybe it is a better ending than clinging to false hopes while walking the thin blade of near-insanity. ” Lay down your arms, give up the fight,” Greenday sang…

At this moment you stop, giving in to whatever is coming your way. You know “..it’s time to live and let die, and you can’t get another try. Nothing is ever built to last”…At least you tried your best to run, you did…But finally the road ends at a cliff’s edge or you simply run out of energy or the pain just gets intolerable (“it’s getting dark, too dark to see. feels like I’m knocking on heaven’s door”) . All good things come to end but the bad stuff always pile up until they break you and suffocate you…it’s a fact of life. But the world spins madly on…

David2016

Some references to the following songs:
a) 21 Guns by Greenday
b) The World Spins Madly On by The Weepies
c) Knocking on Heaven’s Door by Bob Dylan

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