Archive for August, 2016

Entropy (Existential Crisis)

Posted: August 31, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

 

wWSKiwLI long for this solitary company,

This hurtful love

And this painful joy

To really stab me to the heart and make me live,

Drain me of all emotion and make me whole

 

I long for this lonely crowded place

A peaceful war zone I can call home,

A chaos-filled Utopia where noisy, blissful silence reins

This place where love hates and laughter cries.

 

I long for those broken old wings,

To really snatch me away and soar the ground

So that if I fall I will crash to the skies

And enter into this desolate lovely Paradise

And exist again in this placeless place of my inexistence.

 

More than anything, I long for those warm uncomforting arms,

To shield my exposed side so as to leave me prone to the world’s cruelties,

So that even if I die, I will still be holding on to my peaceful bitter life

 

I long for this soft, grating and raspy voice,

To whisper loudly in my deaf ears

To really tell me those words I die to hear,

About this place where I really can’t find love and life.

 

Please dear love tell me before I leave

About the way you hate me in that loving heart of yours.

So that if yesterday comes I might fall in love with you again

And happily never after, we will love each other hatingly.

 

Oh how bright this opaque darkness is!

This confusing order of my well arranged mind.

I wish I could voice these deep shallows of my emotional heart

And maybe one day I could untell my virtual lover,

The most hating words one can ever say,

“I love you,”Oh how shamefully I can’t bring myself to say

I will hold on to them until the day I die

Entropy dear, embrace me with your chaotic orderly arms………………

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©David Phiri

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In anger I snapped the neck of a porcelain doll

Smashed the windows and slammed the door

Until I got tired, bled and lay on the floor

Crying, weeping, wishing for sunny days of yore

 

In desperation I swallowed my pride

Begged for help, but still got shunned

Now I’m slowly sinking, dragged by the tide

Please help me,i beg,  if I’m still a friend

 

In deep hurt what will I do?

With the darkness in my soul, where will I end up?

Summon a demon, even murder I could do

I hope I won’t get there.please, dear, pick me up

before it’s too late….

 

©David2016

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House Of Leaves

Posted: August 22, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry, Quote

“Little solace comes
to those who grieve
when thoughts keep drifting
as walls keep shifting
and this great blue world of ours
seems a house of leaves
moments before the wind.”

 
― Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

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Fake Love, Fool’s Gold

Posted: August 20, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

 

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And all the world will love you just as long as you are a shooting star(Bad Company–Shooting Star)

 

 

When everybody “loves” you,

you can never be lonely.

i used to believe it deeply

made it my reason to live.

But now i know, how deep i know it

it’s about as lonely as you can get.

it blinds you to what is real…

 

©David2016

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“But when everybody loves me, I’m going to be just about as happy as I can be”–Counting Crows; Mr Jones

Tired and Weary

Posted: August 17, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

 

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there are worse places to be

and i’ve taken my fair tour

from the blade’s edge where blood flows free

to the dizzying cliff, awaiting the final fall

 

there are bitter kinds of pain

and i’ve had my own fair share

from bitter lies that fall like rain

to the slashed wrists where flesh is so bare

 

there is sweet hapiness to be had

for it, oh how i crave so bad!

dreaming of fairytales and spectral rainbows

but alas, reality keeps dealing me all the  bitter blows

 

©david

If i jump, would i survive?

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Longing For…

Posted: August 16, 2016 in Poetry

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longing for someone
a sweet familiar face,
a soothing, soft voice
to whisper to me fondly
in this my darkesst moment
that, “it’s all going to be fine”
it’s a solemn prayer, an honest wish
will it ever be okay? I whisper, all alone
but noone answers, no one cares
it’s only the dark silence that unforgively stares
there is no balm in Gilead, only lingering pains

hello world. Is anybody out there? please….

DAVID

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“tell me truly, I implore .Is there — is there balm in Gilead? –tell me –tell me, I implore!”(POE–THE RAVEN)


									

Bitter Reality

Posted: August 12, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

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Often times we’re reminded

Of life’s painful realities

Simple words, thoughts and actions

Bring us all down to our elbows and knees

 

The well dries up and emotional drought sets in

The sun scorches on, all truths alighting

And the rise of doom oh how so impending

 

Necks on guillotine

Awaiting the blade’s scintillating descent

Hope fades away

Giving way to doubt’s dark ascent

Behind us

Not even a single footprint in the sand

But right ahead

The road reaches its own dead end

 

But then again the bomb ticks on

No time to ponder on sweet innocence so long gone

But you even dared to peek through the wire gauze

So the sun burns on, and life’s one ugly and thorny rose

 

David

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wAiTiNg iN vAiN

Posted: August 9, 2016 in Poetry

 

I have been waiting here all along

For  life to find me and carry me along

Did I just say life or did I say love?

Damn it! I mean all the above.

 

©David

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Sometimes I think I’ll sell my soul and make a pact

With the darkest devil I’ll meet along the crossroad path

Not for riches, I’ve never craved for those

But for revenge against the heartless and those

Who hurt me deeply when I held them so close.

 

Sometimes I think of abysmal darkness

To let it consume my heart and burn my soul

‘Til nothing good’s left in me, no righteous likeness

Just an empty dark void, straight to the deep core

 

Sometimes I think of that lost eager boy

Whose only flaw was unconditional deep love and deep trust

And gave his heart to what he thought was virtuous

And whose pain had led him down this road

Now he gives his heart to the forces of darkness

And now his salvation lies in the hands of God.

 

Rare are the days I think of righteousness.

Of virtues and dreams of love

few are those days and fewer are the hours.

I only spend my times communing with the darker powers..

 

David2016

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Fading (Like A Wispy Cloud)

Posted: August 3, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

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All the time I feel suspended

Between one day and the next

Drifting listlessly, aimlessly

Between heavens and solid earth

Not knowing whether I’m falling or flying

 

Sometimes I feel extra puffy

Ready to rain my rage on all who hurt me

Impregnated by hurtful thoughts on dark days

Angry and hurt, not giving in to any smile rays

 

Sometimes I feel empty and wispy

High up like the cirrus, all extra streaky

On those sorrowful days I feel nothing, eager to fade

It’s the days when I slit my wrists or cry myself to bed

 

I know my life is drifting like a solitary  cloud

Amorphous, and stuck in transition, lost and never found

One thing is for sure, and I feel it every day as time flies

One of these days I’ll fade, leaving behind empty  blue skies

No memory of me will linger, I’m just a useless wispy mound

The world will forget me.I never made an impression never could scream out loud

 

David2016

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