Archive for the ‘Writing’ Category

Of truths and lies

Posted: July 29, 2016 in Introspective prose, Writing


Sometimes when you seek the truth from someone, it’s not because you want to use it against them or you think it might set you free. Sometimes it’s just about closure. When someone tells you the truth, no matter how damaging, it shows how much they respect you as a fellow human being. To lie to someone is the worst form of betrayal and disrespect in the world. To constantly lie to someone is to show them that you see them as a lesser being…it is something akin to declaring that you don’t see them as human enough to deserve the truth from you. It’s very degrading….it’s very demeaning.






I’ve had choices, since the day that I was born…if i had listened, I wouldn’t be here today. Living and dying with the choices I made.” ( George Jones)

       Deep in the throes of despair, in the pangs of regret, we all cry tears of desolation. They are not tears of pity for our sorry predicament. No, those tears of self-pity soon dry out. The tears that linger, that keep us awake all night, are the tears we cry for all those we let down. We cry a river for the people we betrayed because we chose to follow the common path, the people whose faith we broke. We cry for the innocence we lost when chose expediency over integrity–we cry for all the potential lost because we chose the path of least resistance.

          It’s the worst kind of torture, I know, to live with the burden of the pain you inflicted on others(in addition to the pains you feel) . When you look past the wounds you bear and look at the anguished visage of those you broke, when you stop being ignorantly egoistic and care enough to see the hurt we’ve caused, that’s only when you can regain the little shred humanity that is lost to this generation. It’s only the wicked who know peace, for they go through life without any compunction. 

           It ain’t a shame therefore to weep for lost potential. Weep, then, for lost innocence; weep for all broken promises and broken dreams, and for the moral roads left untraveled. Weep for the child inside you who you kill every time you make a bad turn. Above all, weep for the voice of conscience that you chose to ignore. Only then will this world be saved. It’s a long walk to back Eden. Always strive for truth, honor what is good. Strive for virtue. 

A single regret [can] crush a thousand proud deeds” ( Steven Erikson)

The things I believed in were very frail. Very fragile. I didnt know that. I thought they were indestructible. They werent.”

—–The Sunset Limited; Cormac McCarthy.—-


When your mind starts echoing terrible truths (truths that you desperately want to avoid) you do everything to divert your attention. And so you run, with noisy Rock music pounding in your ears to help drown the noise coming from deep within, to drown your own troublesome thoughts. The pace sets itself, proportional to the burdens you carry. And so you pick it up a notch trying hard to outrun your past, your mistakes; you try hard to outrun your own haunts that are killing you, pulling you apart from deep within and shredding the course fabric of you frail sanity. You simply run to avoid going insane.

At this point, jogging becomes more than just a sport. Jogging becomes the only anchor holding you down in the eye of a terrible storm. When everyone from your past has betrayed you, left you reeling in new pangs of anguish, you do your best to remain sane. When your quiet life spins out of control, you hold on to the smallest of straws even if you know that all this charade is a temporary measure.

But how far can one run from himself? In the end, the ghouls and demons always catch up. It’s an inevitable ending. They catch up on you and tear you to shreds without remorse. Maybe it is a better ending than clinging to false hopes while walking the thin blade of near-insanity. ” Lay down your arms, give up the fight,” Greenday sang…

At this moment you stop, giving in to whatever is coming your way. You know “’s time to live and let die, and you can’t get another try. Nothing is ever built to last”…At least you tried your best to run, you did…But finally the road ends at a cliff’s edge or you simply run out of energy or the pain just gets intolerable (“it’s getting dark, too dark to see. feels like I’m knocking on heaven’s door”) . All good things come to end but the bad stuff always pile up until they break you and suffocate you…it’s a fact of life. But the world spins madly on…


Some references to the following songs:
a) 21 Guns by Greenday
b) The World Spins Madly On by The Weepies
c) Knocking on Heaven’s Door by Bob Dylan