THEY SAY

Posted: September 30, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

i know THEY talk(and please don’t ask who)

But still i worry that what they say is true……..

They say I’m too cynical for someone so young

That I’ve given up too early on love, aloof and lost

But they don’t know how love bit me with a poisonous fang

So i told them I’m a realist, and I know what dreams cost

They told me I’m having an early midlife crisis,

Losing my grip and giving in to vices

I simply smiled, and laughingly denied

But deep down I know: I’m slowly dying inside

David

See him wasted on the sidewalk, in his jacket and his jeans” Wearin’ yesterday’s misfortunes like a smile. Once he had a future, full of money love and dreams. Which he spent like they was goin’ out o’ style (The Pilgrim ; Kris Kristofferson) 

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Hurt, withered and worn

Posted: September 8, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

 

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I played the blues on my grey guitar,
Turned off the news of a world gone bizarre
Then I cried out my soul by the calm river shore
Feeling adrift, broken down even to my frail chore
I always thought I was meant for more
Ran the extra mile, even thought I’d soar
But now just I’m tired and worn, like my torn shoe’s sole
It hurts to breathe; help me, even my lungs are sore…

©David

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Where do you go when you’re lonely ?Where do you go when you’re blue? (Ryan Adams)

Fine On The Outside

Posted: September 2, 2016 in Lyrics, Melancholy

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I never had that many friends growing up
So I learned to be okay with just me

And I’ll be fine on the outside

I like to eat in school by myself anyway
So I’ll just stay right here

And I’ll be fine on the outside

So I just sit in my room
After hours with the moon
And think of who knows my name
Would you cry if I died?
Would you remember my face?

So I left home
I packed up and I moved far away
From my past one day
And I laughed

I sound fine on the outside

Sometimes I feel lost sometimes I’m confused
Sometimes I find that I’m not alright
And I cry, and I cry, and I cry

So I just sit in my room
After hours with the moon
And think of who knows my name
Would you cry if I died?
Would you remember my face?

Priscilla Ann– Fine on the outside (OST to When Marnie Was There)
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Entropy (Existential Crisis)

Posted: August 31, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

 

wWSKiwLI long for this solitary company,

This hurtful love

And this painful joy

To really stab me to the heart and make me live,

Drain me of all emotion and make me whole

 

I long for this lonely crowded place

A peaceful war zone I can call home,

A chaos-filled Utopia where noisy, blissful silence reins

This place where love hates and laughter cries.

 

I long for those broken old wings,

To really snatch me away and soar the ground

So that if I fall I will crash to the skies

And enter into this desolate lovely Paradise

And exist again in this placeless place of my inexistence.

 

More than anything, I long for those warm uncomforting arms,

To shield my exposed side so as to leave me prone to the world’s cruelties,

So that even if I die, I will still be holding on to my peaceful bitter life

 

I long for this soft, grating and raspy voice,

To whisper loudly in my deaf ears

To really tell me those words I die to hear,

About this place where I really can’t find love and life.

 

Please dear love tell me before I leave

About the way you hate me in that loving heart of yours.

So that if yesterday comes I might fall in love with you again

And happily never after, we will love each other hatingly.

 

Oh how bright this opaque darkness is!

This confusing order of my well arranged mind.

I wish I could voice these deep shallows of my emotional heart

And maybe one day I could untell my virtual lover,

The most hating words one can ever say,

“I love you,”Oh how shamefully I can’t bring myself to say

I will hold on to them until the day I die

Entropy dear, embrace me with your chaotic orderly arms………………

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©David Phiri

Remember Me

Posted: August 28, 2016 in Lyrics, Poetry

 

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Image: the forgotten bear by stevoa5-d4ajgsk(deviantart)

Will you hear me blowing in the wind?
Will it give you shivers down your skin?
Will you stop and stare, wonder if I’m there?
Will you think about me now and then?

Remember me, please remember me
May your heart be strong
May your fears be weak
And remember me, please remember me

Will you keep those notes I used to write?
Will you hang them on the fridge at night?
Will you miss my smile every once in a while?
Will you think I was worth your time?

Will you find me somewhere in your dreams?
When you’re swimming up against the stream
When the days get long, and you can’t go on
Sweetheart just remember me
Remember Me by Augustana

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In anger I snapped the neck of a porcelain doll

Smashed the windows and slammed the door

Until I got tired, bled and lay on the floor

Crying, weeping, wishing for sunny days of yore

 

In desperation I swallowed my pride

Begged for help, but still got shunned

Now I’m slowly sinking, dragged by the tide

Please help me,i beg,  if I’m still a friend

 

In deep hurt what will I do?

With the darkness in my soul, where will I end up?

Summon a demon, even murder I could do

I hope I won’t get there.please, dear, pick me up

before it’s too late….

 

©David2016

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Lover’s Eyes

Posted: August 25, 2016 in Introspective prose, Melancholy

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Well, love was kind for a time
Now just aches and it makes me blind

But do not ask the price I paid,
I must live with my quiet rage,
Tame the ghosts in my head,
That run wild and wish me dead.
Should you shake my ash to the wind
Lord, forget all of my sins
Oh, let me die where I lie
Neath the curse of my lover’s eyes.

 

MUMFORD AND SONS–Lover’s Eyes

House Of Leaves

Posted: August 22, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry, Quote

“Little solace comes
to those who grieve
when thoughts keep drifting
as walls keep shifting
and this great blue world of ours
seems a house of leaves
moments before the wind.”

 
― Mark Z. Danielewski, House of Leaves

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Fake Love, Fool’s Gold

Posted: August 20, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

 

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And all the world will love you just as long as you are a shooting star(Bad Company–Shooting Star)

 

 

When everybody “loves” you,

you can never be lonely.

i used to believe it deeply

made it my reason to live.

But now i know, how deep i know it

it’s about as lonely as you can get.

it blinds you to what is real…

 

©David2016

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“But when everybody loves me, I’m going to be just about as happy as I can be”–Counting Crows; Mr Jones

Tired and Weary

Posted: August 17, 2016 in Melancholy, Poetry

 

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there are worse places to be

and i’ve taken my fair tour

from the blade’s edge where blood flows free

to the dizzying cliff, awaiting the final fall

 

there are bitter kinds of pain

and i’ve had my own fair share

from bitter lies that fall like rain

to the slashed wrists where flesh is so bare

 

there is sweet hapiness to be had

for it, oh how i crave so bad!

dreaming of fairytales and spectral rainbows

but alas, reality keeps dealing me all the  bitter blows

 

©david

If i jump, would i survive?

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